i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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