when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize