Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You made out with two different species that night
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
