Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
