It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
