Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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