We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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