just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
