please come you make the beer taste better
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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