nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
