I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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