a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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