Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
