I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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