I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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