My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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