these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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