Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Randomize
