I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
