Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
