She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
