Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
