maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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