i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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