I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
