Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
