Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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