can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
