Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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