Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.