i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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