oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
