I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
