I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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