the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
