so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
