I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
