dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
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so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
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I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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