You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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