Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
