You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
