South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
