yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
