Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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