Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize