Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
