So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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