My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
