just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Found your dick twin last night
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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