It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Randomize
