Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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