Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
