how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
