I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
