sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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