Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
