I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize