It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
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Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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