just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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