the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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