Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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