Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
