is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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